What I learned in my 30's

I turned 41 last week.

Reflecting on the person I've become between the age of 30 and 40 is pretty significant. Unlike most of my friends the same age, I was not ready to be a mum and homemaker. The following sums up where I was physically and psychologically, the changes I made that turned me into a person that is ready to share these wonderful life lessons in a way that helps others on their journeys too.

Age 30 - 36:




Regular knee dislocation (it even clicked out while doing the vacuuming one day)

Switched between diarrhoea and constipation constantly

Always felt 'on the edge' of getting ill

I'd have highs and lows energy-wise after eating. But I never really put the two together or put any effort into the foods that I should/shouldn't be eating

Was often tired, irritable, sad, distracted

Loved purchasing 'detox' and 'health' products as the act of self prescribing



Felt restless/on edge most of the time, would always be 'busy' and rushing from one thing to another

Had difficulty remembering things - had a saying 'I need to write this down or else I'll never remember it'

Regularly felt the need to jump in and takeover a conversation, for fear I'd forget what I wanted to say

Rarely followed through with ideas and inspirations around business, personal relationships, wealth. Kickstarted things but often lacked the energy or belief that it could be a success, have longevity or have that constant flow in

Didn't have much faith in myself and my capabilities. Often put so much trust in others, thinking that they would know best I'd follow whatever they said without really thinking about whether it's something I want/need/good for me

I didn't realise it at the time, but my whole being was used to just being in 'survival' mode. I rarely played victim and when times (often) got tough, I just got on with what I needed to do to get by, a real 'survivor' so to speak

I had this strange belief that anything I really wanted would be taken away from me suddenly. I'd subconsciously be waiting for the next thing to go wrong or disappointment to happen. For that reason, I didn't put anything in place to secure my future - I'd lose it anyway



Binged on junk food, alcohol and over-training in the gym to make me feel better

Never connected that what I ate had an affect on my skin issues, physical ability and overall sense of wellbeing

Purchased numerous 'self help' courses, coaches and brought into various network marketing companies. But at the time, they didn't really help because I put too much trust in them, and not enough trust in myself to actually make progress

Didn't have much of an idea of what I really wanted anyway, so coaches/self help courses and get-rich quick solutions were a short term fix/relief. Once their inspiration wore off, I felt lost and alone again. It made me so sad to think that nothing had really changed. 


Age 37-40:

Took action around my gut health

Got educated on the benefits of meditation and spending more time activating my sympathetic nervous system (rest and relax)

Realised my core values; Health, Financial Freedom, Love, Growth, Courage

Made a conscious choice to only be surrounded by people and information that are based around these values

Took a spiritual journey inwards and stopped relying on other people, substances and events to make me happy

Met the love of my life, we complement each other on so many levels and I know I would never have met him in my previous state. 


Age 41 (Now):

My gut health was a big factor in most of these physical, psychological and mindset issues

Realising that there are so many people who've been in the same boat as me, and I have an amazing opportunity to help them

Understanding my core values acts as a fantastic anchor for me to make decisions.

Authentic Friendships, Relationships and Connections with likeminded people and communities are so important. These connections move beyond the superficial and into new ways of thinking that in turn improve our energies and play a role in the evolution of humanity.

I have more confidence and faith in myself and my abilities. I no longer rely on the external for happiness. All I really want is within me and will guides me when I let it in.

Like attracts like. Everything that happens to me is my own doing.  

I am switching to thinking in a more 'abundance' mindset. Still working through this one everyday, but trying to think more of the bigger picture, and not get too caught up in the detail/what could go wrong. 

*Still WIP* - Letting go of the need to control everything. Being ok with relaxing into the present moment and what comes up. 

Starting my fertility journey, with the hope that it will lead to a happy, healthy baby to hold in our arms :) 


If you relate to anything I've written here...


Invest in a health coach. Get your nutrition and gut health tested and in check. 

I used David O'Brien from 5th Element Wellness - start here. I can't recommend him enough (he does online consults, so you can tap in from anywhere). You need to be ready and willing to put the work in. The result, if you follow through, will be a longer, happier life and look better on the inside and out. 



Attend the Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within. He comes to Sydney every September. For me, this was a massive milestone in my personal development journey. 


Start your journaling journey. Regularly writing in this anchors you into thinking in ways that best serve you.


There's so much I could say here, but just start with this, and the journey will play out for you in the best way too. 


Feel free to email me anytime - rhoda@rhodamalia.com



1 comment

  • I Loved everything you just wrote Rhoda. You’re so honest and authentic and I do appreciate that in people. I can really relate to things you said about your journey, and reminds me of things I need to get in top of – especially my gut health. Thanks so much for sharing!

    Ben on

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